Observations About Cats

CATS BEAR GRUDGES
This is no cause for concern. Your cat never liked you anyway.
CRAIG FERGUSON SAYS YOUR CAT WANTS TO KILL YOU
This is nonsense. Your cat knows where the fancy feast comes from. Your cat doesn't care if you end a sentence with a preposition. Your cat doesn't care if you end a sentence with the word preposition.
YOUR CAT DOESN''T READ
If you think your cat reads, you have been mislead by its psychic powers.
YOUR CAT KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE THINKING.
Your cat is telling my cat what you are thinking right now, in real time. This is no cause for concern. My cat will not tell me what you are thinking.
My cat never liked me anyway.